Today, I saw a man walking with his son.
I immediately felt uneasy. Something didn’t feel right. I told this to my husband, but he didn’t see anything wrong, and to be fair, nothing looked wrong. It just FELT wrong. (Warning: it gets graphic from here on)
So, I followed them around the corner of the building. When I saw them again, the 6ft 8in tall father was punching his tiny son repeatedly in the chest and throwing him into the wall, screaming at him about what a horrible child he was. The entire wall shook each time his little body hit it. The kid was crying and screaming and APOLOGIZING to his father for upsetting him.
My husband and I immediately intervened–it never crossed our minds not to. Yet at least 6 people were in viewing distance of this and turned away so as “not to see it.”
I’m 5ft 7in and a punch from me could easily be mistaken for a gnat landing on you, so I don’t think I’m that frightening, but I stood my ground anyway because sometimes it’s about having a powerful attitude, not muscle power.
I stepped between him and the child while my husband was on the phone with 911. When this man tried to threaten me, I stood taller and gave him the most intimidating stare down I could muster while lecturing him on how not to be a total dickhead. In truth, I was genuinely worried I was about to pee my pants or that he’d see I was trembling.
The giant man stepped back–FEAR in his eyes. Afraid of ME as I stood between him and his son.
He continued to fling insults at me and my husband (who did immediately come to my defense, of course), but this man’s son watched someone defend him–possibly for the first time ever.
His son heard me when I told him this was not his fault, and he did not deserve to be treated like this, that he was a good kid and was worth more than what was happening. He may not understand it until he’s older or in a healthier environment, but at least one person in his life will have told him his worth. And one day, it’ll resonate inside him. At least, that’s my hope.
Police came and took charge of the situation and we wrote our reports and told the story half a dozen times again and again, but that was fine by us.
I’m telling this story because I feel I came away with some really powerful life lessons today, and I hope maybe by sharing it, it could encourage/help others who may be faced with a moral situation like this.
1) If something doesn’t feel right, listen to your gut. Even if that means inconveniencing yourself, or possibly facing a threat head on. Our instincts are so powerful, if we’d only listen.
2) 911 can put you on fucking hold apparently (didnt know that was a thing!) and takes a long goddamn time to answer the phone. So, be prepared to hold down the fort until police arrive thirty damn minutes later. Anyways, sorry, venting. Our criminal justice system sucks balls.
Sorry. Scratch #2. I’ll redo this one.
Real 2) Children cannot, nor should they be expected, to stand up for or defend themselves. They need adults to step in when somethings wrong, even if it’s a stranger.
3) If you see something like this happening and you don’t speak up, you are just as bad as the perpetrator. In fact, you’re handing him his greatest tool–the flawed thought that he’s invincible. You’re teaching that child that no one will save him, and that his father is right.
4) There is POWER in doing the right thing. Sometimes, the little guy can win. Ladies–we are powerful. Bullies are so often just talk. And someone who hurts a defenseless child? That’s a spineless bully. Find your power–even if it’s fucking terrifying. Find it, use it, and revel in what you are capable of when you’re doing what’s right.
5) There may never be a happy ending for this boy, who will still have an abusive father when he gets home. But at least one person told him he’s worth more. I truly wish more people told children their worth–strangers or not. Tell children they matter, and they deserve to be treated with respect, love, and kindness.
Anyways, that’s all I can muster at the moment because I’m a little emotional and now treating myself to delicious cheese stuffed garlic knots and pizza. But yeah. That’s my PSA for today.
Just be a good person. And help others.
Because that’s what being human is.
Be human. Be kind.
✌🏻
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Image Credit: http://www.israelekanem.com/be-kind-2/
