When The Bachelor Teaches Us Why Women Don’t Report

*Trigger Warning: I’m about to rant about sexual assault and victim blaming because I have no fucks left to give.*

Here’s the Back Story: In the last few days, the news has come out that the “reality” television show, Bachelor in Paradise, has been cancelled due to allegations of sexual assault while filming (read more here and here). Long story short, a female contestant was filmed “hooking up” with another contestant while extremely drunk and consent was no longer possible. Producers allowed it to continue, rather than stepping in, and now the show is being sued and cancelled.

Sexual assault and/or rape is one of the only types of crime where the victim’s past personal history gets to be part of the decision on whether there was/wasn’t a crime committed.

“Well, she’s always been a slut. It’s not like this happening is surprising.”

“She was an attention seeker, so this is probably what she wanted. I’m sure it’s all a ploy for fame and money.”

“She was drinking, and we all know her reputation. What did she expect?”

“She had a boyfriend and went on a dating show, so who’s really to blame here? She should have known better.”

The things I’m seeing online today (literally quotes above are from Twitter ) about Corinne’s assault on #BachelorinParadise are literally disgusting. Absolutely has my stomach turning, and I am NOT okay with any of it. In fact, I’m completely raging over it and probably gone off on a million people today over it.

The comments on @CorinneOly are horrific. Corinne is a person with real feelings, and consent is a REAL concept with REAL consequences #BIP pic.twitter.com/axy1HAELzL

— Lo (@LaurenAWhite96) June 12, 2017

Worst yet, I work with sexual abuse victims a lot and have gotten half a dozen messages today from people thanking me for saying something because they’ve been victims in the past and this entire ordeal is unbelievably triggering for them.

Honestly, it is for me, too.

AND the fact that people are more upset that #BIP was cancelled than they are by the fact Corinne was sexually assaulted is sickening.

— Queen B🖤 (@jibbjabbs) June 12, 2017

Is she still talking to the man who assaulted her? Probably. Being assaulted while you’re both drunk is emotionally fucking confusing and it can take a lifetime to figure out where to place blame in your mind.

Is she suing the show? Fuck yes. The producer’s promised to protect her and then watched her be assaulted on camera.

Does she have a history of promiscuity and dramatic behavior? Who cares. Irrelevant. Next.

So, you think she did this for fame and money? YEAH, BECAUSE BEING A VICTIM OF SEXUAL ASSAULT HAS EVER WORKED OUT TO BENEFIT THE VICTIM IN THE PUBLIC’S EYE. EVER. What the hell are you smoking?

Did she have a boyfriend before going on a dating show? Maybe, but again, who cares? That’s for her and her boyfriend to figure out, and you’re lying to yourself if you think producers weren’t full aware and just wanted her on for ratings anyway.

Are her castmates now unfollowing her on social media, so she must be a liar because otherwise they’d be speaking out on her behalf? Are. 👏 You.👏 Kidding.👏 Me.👏 With.👏This. 👏 Shit. 👏 Her castmates lost a big payday and are blaming the woman who spoke up and “caused” it. Big shock–people aren’t supporting an assault victim. It’s disgusting, but it in no way reflects on the victim, but rather on the castmates for being vile.

I hate how the women of #BIP have turned their back on @CorinneOly like wtf who does that to a FRIEND let alone another human

— Christina (@acspears) June 12, 2017

I don’t give A FLYING FUCK whether she’s been promiscuous in the past, whether she was blackout drunk, whether she was making good choices, blah blah blah.

When a woman is sexually assaulted, it’s a damn shame that the public’s first reaction is to blame her.

What’s happening on social media today is exactly why so many women (and men!) choose not to report sexual assault.

For fuck’s sake. Be better, people.